“There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts-before this, and after this” – Fallen
Everything has changed. Nothing will ever be the same. It is different. It is messy. It is painful. It is Grief…and it is a process.
Grief and loss happens to all of us, it can come gradually or strike at a moment’s notice leaving you in an unfamiliar place, lost, and confused because what once was is no more.
Grief can take your breath away. It reshapes you. It redefines you. It’s a time of emotional chaos. It’s intrusive and disruptive. It can come like a flood out of nowhere with feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, disbelief, anxiety, and even shame.
Grief is a normal natural reaction to any loss be it by death of a loved one, divorce, natural disaster, financial loss, failures, loss of employment, friendships, or pets. Journeying through grief takes time, and there is no one way-fits-all path. Every experience is unique. We stumble through the darkness to what seems like a never-ending night. The dark night of our souls hopes and prays that the pain will end. Unfortunately, there is no short cut to your new normal, it is a daily walk.
As you journey through grief and loss, self-care is so important because grief is emotionally and physically draining. Self-care doesn’t have to be a major production; it can be as simple as taking a walk outside or having a hot bath.
8 Ways to Take Care of Yourself While You Grieve
- Set some time each day to be by yourself in a quiet place to grieve.
- Journal, write out all your emotions, don’t try to filter them… just get it out.
- Don’t judge yourself for grieving, accept the way you feel, it takes as long as it takes.
- Join a grief group.
- Seek professional help if needed, it doesn’t mean you’re crazy.
- Celebrate when you feel like celebrating.
- Acknowledge the pain and know that it is alright to be where you are.
- Honor your loved one in some way.
10 Things to Know About Grief and Loss
- You never go back to the person you used to be, grief changes you.
- People will say things that are not helpful because they don’t know what to say.
- There is no timeline.
- One day you may feel fine and the next day you are back at day one.
- Grief can make you question your faith.
- Grief can make you feel like you are going crazy.
- Grief can manifest as pain in your body.
- You grieve your past, present, and future.
- Greif comes in waves.
- It’s ok to cry and it’s ok not to cry.
Finding a “new normal?” What’s normal about it? There is no normal when it comes to grieving. After a major loss, grief is YOUR journey. People can walk with you, but they can’t grieve for you, it’s your work to do.
What I have learned about the journey of grief and loss is that you don’t forget, the love you feel never dies, you learn how to adjust living without, and God’s peace and grace is always available. Rebuilding your life after loss takes time but the good news is that God is always present to help us especially in our darkest hours. God promise to never leave us, that nothing can separate us from God’s love, and God will comfort those who mourn.
What’s your experience with grief and loss? What helped you through it? Feel free to leave your comments below as they could help someone going through grief and loss right now.
If you need grief counseling, CLICK HERE to CONTACT LIVING WORKS.